Living Beyond the Why


Why me? Why not? Why now? Why again?

These are questions we've all asked one time or another. And unfortunately, for many of us, more than once. Pray tell, shaking a fist at the heavens?

Job 10:18 Why then have You brought me out of the womb? Would that I had died and no eye had seen me!

Don't worry, I have also. In fact, I've shouted every one of them only to be met with total silence from above as if my cry landed on deaf ears.

Psalms 10:1 Why do You stand afar off, O Lord? Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble?

But how do we move beyond the "why" moments in our lives? What do they really signify for the believer? Are they mere bumps in the road or do they represent something far more significant on our Christian journey?

Speaking from my own experience, I'd have to go with the latter. The "why's" in my life aren't bumps or potholes but deep, wide canyons along my journey of faith. Times I hold fast to the reins of my chariot, determined to guide it my own way instead of the Lord's.

And when unexpected detours arise and send me careening off course or crashing into a wall, I don't sink to my knees and find solace in the Almighty. No, I tend to lash out at the only One who could possibly be to blame. Sound familiar?

But is He to blame? Truly? After all, aren't I the driver of the chariot? The unbending, unyielding, author of my own destiny as are so many others in this world.

If I, a Christian, am unwilling to part ways with my own selfish nature, how many people in this world, who don't know Jesus Christ, cling to it with as much if not more fervor? And when sin (my own or another's) actually touches me or impacts my life, I have the gall to shake my fist at God in a self-righteous fit and demand "why?" Why did He "allow" this to happen? Why me? Wow. I guess I'm not as smart as I thought. Or simply blind.

So what do I do next? How do I go on? Endure the pain of my perfect little world turned upside down? How do I take that step forward and live beyond the why?

3 Steps to Forgiveness (through God's Grace)

Forgiveness. It sounds easy, doesn't it? It's not, but freedom from pain is found through it. And it works.

Here are the three steps. I actually have these in my phone's note app and titled them Beyond the Why. You may think that's crazy but it's not. You see, I'm human and God knows it. As I said, these steps aren't easy and for me, the only way I can do it to repeat them over and over. I'm so glad that God is a patient teacher.

Anyway, back to the steps.

Step One: 
Repeat the following sentences ten times a day.
a. "The world you built for yourself isn't perfect and neither are those who hurt you." 
b. "I forgive those who have hurt me and mine."

Step Two: 
Repeat the following sentences ten times a day.
a. "I forgive myself for being a sinner and not being perfect."
b. "Jesus is my Savior and God loves me."

Step Three: 
Pray this prayer every day:
"Father God, please forgive me for my sins and put love back in my heart. Restore my faith and fill the trenches of my soul with rock so I can stand on solid ground, strong again in You. Soften my heart toward those who have hurt me and mine and show me Your forgiveness for all so I can forgive those who have hurt me and mine. I love you, Lord, and I ask you to guide me on this journey of faith. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen."

Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

Forgiveness is possible, but I'll warn you now. It may take weeks, months, or even years before you can forgive. Stay the course. Hold on. Hatred, bitterness, and a hard heart doesn't change overnight. Don't expect it to.

Even if you don't mean the words, SAY THEM ANYWAY. Have faith. Keep your eyes on Jesus and your heart will follow. It may happen suddenly or take a while but it will occur. You may forgive one day and be at peace only to realize months or years later, bitterness has crept back in the crevices of your heart. Don't despair. Go through the steps again.

God's grace is infinitely more powerful than you or I can imagine. He is faithful and will help us forgive as many times as we need. He is a patient teacher.

As I said before, forgiveness isn't easy but then again, living beyond the why never is.

Article written by Renee Blare
Founder and Contributor of The Diamond Mine of Christian Fiction
Christian Author of Romantic Suspense and Mystery
Published by Prism Book Group, an affiliate of Pelican Book Group
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  1. Great post, Renee. Even though we all ask, demand, and throw "the why me" tantrums, I'm so grateful God doesn't give me what I deserve. My daily request is "Please teach me to love people the way You love them, Father." My learning curve swoops the opposite direction. Sigh!

  2. I completely understand that one! Loving when you're mad or hurt isn't always possible but thankfully with God, all things ARE possible. :)


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